Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
In the Big Book in step 11, I am promised that I will gain an intuitiveness with G d; and that sometimes, because this is not something we feel perfectly, I will presume things that are not true. Sometimes, I will be granted thoughts for action that lead me to aligning my will to G d’s will. I have been building my relationship with G d now for a few 24 hours; even now, I question the tugs I get that lead to change, especially when those changes effect my lifestyle.
I can feel something so strongly - but my fear of change and the unknown can keep me from making such changes. I question my intuitiveness; never of course when those changes mean I am getting something I think I want or need. I must grow spiritually. As I grow, my life changes: my moral compass, need for personal integrity, my interests, desires, and needs, they all change.
Change is not comfortable because it is different. Different, whether I perceive it as "good" or "bad" is still different and this leads to discomfort. I need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable; it does not always indicate that something is wrong; sometimes being uncomfortable is about getting right with spiritual change that leads to life change. It is at these times that I must do as the Big Book says and throw myself into prayer, meditation and working with others. I am afraid to trust sometimes and until I can walk through that fear I cannot grow. Things that do not grow die. I want to choose life. G d can help me do that.
3 shares:
I haven't seen anyone going thru change without kicking and screaming, externally or internally. We change when the discomfort on not changing is greater than the discomfort of changing.
For many years, I was a creature of habit. Eight cross country relocations in 15 years was more than I could handle. Negativity, fear and resentment distorted my view. I could only percieve change as an obstacle. With each move, my compulsion to drink and drug grew. The changes that took place during the height of my addiction were hideous. I was convinced that my disease was bringing me down. I knew that if I didn't do something to change what was happening to me, I was going to die. Now, I know that I had to go through this spiritual bottom to get to where I am. Recovery has been the greatest gift and blessing in my life. TODAY, I look at change as an opportunity and an avenue to do G-d's will. Bring it on!
So we all seek homeostasis -- even plants do it. But the
whole theory of evolution is
based upon change. So how can we
motivate ourselves to give up
the cozy couch & leap forward into
action? Often the only change is in reaction to some negative situation. I hope today that I
can motivate myself to change
by thinking of the coming good.
Baruch HaShem.
Paula Pereleh
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