The Mistake Page

A friend in AA refers to page 70 of the Big Book at the Mistake Page. For a newcomer the greatest fear is to do something wrong. What if I try to follow the program but I don't succeed? What if I follow all the principles of the 12 steps, but fall back into unhealthy behavior? Does that mean that I am a failure? Does that mean that I'm doomed to go back to my addiction? So here is the Mistake Page:

Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to incur debt again? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to return to debt. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience.

This paragraph tells me that I will probably make mistakes. That it is normal for a human being to fall short of his ideals. When that happens I need not beat myself up, but raise my head and look to the next opportunity to do the right thing.

Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi in Tanya chapter 27 discusses sadness that befalls man as a result of "evil thoughts and desires that enter his mind". A person is depressed because he keeps having undesirable thoughts. He keeps being tempted to behave in an unspiritual way. So he is sad. He is depressed. Why can't I just be normal?

Says Rabbi Shneur Zalman: Who do you think you are??? Are you so arrogant to think that you wouldn't be tempted??? Are you so "thick of spirit" to assume that once you chose the path of spirituality all lust and desire would leave you forever? Do you think so highly of yourself that you are so depressed from the realization that you are not perfect? Rejoice that you were given the opportunity to improve yourself! The mistake is there to help you grow to the next level! Look ahead and feel great knowing that you have what it takes to make the right choice next time around.

Mistakes are bound to happen, we have the opportunity to use them to grow.