Addicts Like Me - Mike F. Shares

From my Inbox:

Reading the recent Torah portions about how the ancient Israelites disobeyed G-d while wandering in the desert, I couldn't help but think how silly they sounded to me. Think about it, the Israelites had columns of fire and clouds moving in front of them, manna appearing out of nowhere, the booming voice of G-d speaking to them and they had recently witnessed the parting of the red that had then swallowed up the greatest army the world had ever seen. After all this, they still rebelled and did what they wanted.

Just plain old stupid in my eyes. That is, until I thought about all the miracles I see on daily basis that I take for granted.

When I first got involved with recovery, I remember how moved I was walking through the doors and admitting in front of everyone present that I was an addict. When I got my first white key tag, I failed miserably at trying to hold back the tears. As my early recovery progressed, I was awe struck on a daily basis as I watched newcomers have similar experiences. Further, as days turned into months while I progressed through the 12 steps, I was continually stunned at the new insights I gained about myself, those around me, and life in general.

All of these things were miracles.

Think about it, me, a drug addict that just a few short years ago had had his car repoed, his financial life in ruin, a sea of destroyed or non-existence relationships, no heat, no electricity, who barely having a roof over his head and who shoved toxic substances into his body as fast as he could get his hands on them, was now a sober, employed citizen with credit cards, money in the bank, repaired relationships with friends and family and a new wonderful romantic relationship. Not only that, I now had people even asking him to sponsor them. That’s a miracle!

But despite all of this, and despite all of the countless miracles I’d witnessed since coming into recovery, I still had my doubts about whether I wanted to believe in G-d or not. Not just follow him, but BELIEVE in him. Further, the lure of my former lifestyle (as if ‘life’ is even an appropriate word) was still there and I often think about going back to it.

When I looked at my hang-ups in this light, it suddenly became easy for me to see how our ancient brothers could do the seemingly stupid things that they did. Turns out, they were addicts like me.