Jewish Recovery Thought - Matos

This week we read two portions of the Torah, so we get to have two Thoughts... If it's free - take two...

By Rabbi Ben A.

Matos

"A man who takes a vow….”

Numbers 30:3

Everything in this world was created for a purpose, namely, that we use that creation to serve G-d. When we use anything in a way that conforms to G-d’s purpose for it, we thereby elevate that object, place or situation from the ordinary to the sacred. For example, say our Sages, “Gold was only created so that it could be used in the building of the Holy Temple.”

While the norm is that most of what exists in this world is available to us and ready to made holy through reverent and mindful use, there are, however, those few things that G-d has forbidden us. He has told us to refrain from certain foods, sexual relationships, etc. for we are unable to use them in any way that would elevate them to His service.

It should come as no surprise then that the Torah actually discourages vows of abstention. In the words of the Talmud, “Are the Torah's prohibitions not enough for you that you come to create new prohibitions for yourself?” In other words, if G-d, by rendering something permissible, has indicated that this something can be used for His service, it is not only your privilege to make use of it, but your obligation. By refusing to engage in an experience that G-d has permitted, one refuses the duty to elevate all in this world that has the potential to be elevated.

This begs the question: if by principle such vows are discouraged, why then does the Torah provide a framework within which to do so?

But for those who have forfeited their ability to make productive use of one or another of G-d’s creations, the answer is obvious.

Abstention from that which is permissible is a humbling admission of defeat – that something created by G-d be used by man to serve Him is more powerful than I.[1] If there were no redeeming purpose for alcohol, G-d would have forbidden it wholesale. But other people can and do use it productively. As a rabbi, I lead holiday and life cycle events on a constant basis which involves the sacramental use of wine or the customary toast of “l’chaim – to life!” on liquor.

When I first grappled with the reality that I must never drink again, I would sometimes cry over the loss of my greatest comfort in life. Today I still sometimes cry, but for a different reason – because there is something in this world that G-d intended to be used for His service and that other people can and do use this way, and I am unable to do so. The only way I can now serve G-d through alcohol is by respecting its power and acknowledging that, for me, it is inherently beyond my reach to elevate.

It is interesting that one of the standard verbal formulas for pronouncing a vow is: “May such-and-such be to me as if it were a sacrificial offering.” When one designates an animal as a sacrifice to be brought to the Temple, it may no longer be appropriated for personal use. It becomes ‘set apart’ and ‘holy’ (which in Hebrew are actually the same word.) When one makes a vow to abstain from something and to ‘set it apart,’ he is actually conceding to its ‘holiness,’ that he has no right to make personal use of it, for he cannot shoulder that burden.

Many people think that we recovering alcoholics must look down on alcohol, but the very opposite is true. No one respects alcohol like an alcoholic. We know all too well of its power. We have set it apart from our lives, because we came to realize that the use of alcohol is beyond our ability to bear. And in so admitting, we came to realize that G-d has a different purpose for alcohol in our lives – as the embodiment of the truth that we are powerless and needed to give our lives over to the care of G-d.

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[1] Because of the seriousness of violating a vow, even one who resolves to abstain should not formally verbalize his vow. Besides, we as alcoholics know all too well that promises are not what keep us sober, but rather working our spiritual program. We don’t officially swear off, we just stay away from the first drink.