Humility/Arrogance

So I am proud to announce that over the past week we have had over 200 single visitors and more than 500 page views! On the other hand we have very few comments and participation from you, the reader.

My guess was that as a recovering addict you are too humble to think that you contribution matters... I talked to a friend and he told me that he asked a reader why he doesn't contribute and guess what, here is his answer (with his permission):

Honestly, I'm too arrogant to contribute... see, my problem is that since I think that I understand the 12 Steps better than anyone else (and I use my M... wit to prove myself right every time and prove everyone else wrong every time), it's better if I don't get involved until I have some serious time.

(As a matter of fact, the specific problem is that I was so arrogant when I came in (7 years ago) that I literally wanted to create a new program--I was going to show everyone how it's done, and how EVERYTHING they're doing is wrong and my way is THE WAY. Took me a YEAR to even start listening to the books, the literature and what guys were saying, and then ANOTHER year to actually start doing it. This is simply my inferiority complex--since I'm a nobody, therefore, I MUST become a somebody--and besides, I'm a M..., and all the M...s are great, aren't they?)

See, this program has given me some sort of strange IDENTITY--I'm a Twelve-Stepper, it's my new religion and faith--so I've for better or for worse become very elitist about it. I get all anxious and nervous and snotty whenever I read about or hear about any orthodox Jew doing anything recovery-related, such as Twerski's books or the Friendship House program or whatever, and I get all like, "Who do these guys think they are?! They don't know anything about recovery! They're not one of us! They're just a bunch of stupid orthodox Jews who are busy being observant but don't know anything about God, etc." and all that elitist stuck-up hot air and BS (The reason I'm like that is because the 12 step fellowship has had the unintended side effect of making me feel like "one of the gang", which I never felt my whole life.)

So I've taken it too far. "I'm in, I'm one of the gang, a member of the club"--and no one else can be. They're just "stupid civilians." (It's a good thing no one treated me like that when I came in!) So that's where I'm at with that. Maybe I should surrender my arrogance and my belief that I own "International 12 Step, Inc." and contribute anyway. I'll check out the site and pray on my feelings and do my best to contribute humbly.

Thanks for reading!

H. M.

You see, this is a GREAT contribution, what a awesome way to say no... Thanks H.M. keep coming back...